I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
