Rock
Scissors
Fuck
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
