come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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