she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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