You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
