im six kinds of drunk right now
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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