Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
