Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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