I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
