it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
