On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We are all done wearing pants today
did i just pee glitter
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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