this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
