I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
