if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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