best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
