Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
