brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
