CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
