My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
