Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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