i barfeds in our rink
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
They took my balls.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
