Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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