New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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