my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
