can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
