He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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