Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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