i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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