you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
