whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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