So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
