he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Randomize
