I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
