I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
