i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
