walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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