Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
