i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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