How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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