i just made my gag reflex go away.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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