I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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