I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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