I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
