its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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