I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
