why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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