Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
