At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
