yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
