I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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