Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
