like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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