Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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