Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
